The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

– Gloria Steinem

On this unusually warm November 6th morning, with temperatures reaching 79 degrees on the East Coast, I lace up my running shoes and head out to clear my head and make room in my heart to hold all that I am feeling. In the aftermath of yesterday’s elections, I find myself seeking space to process what I’m witnessing in America. Like many of us, I’m grappling with the weight of our collective experience and searching for a way forward.

Before we can begin to bridge our divides, we must first give ourselves permission to feel. To grieve. To rage. To hope. To simply be with whatever emotions this moment brings up for us. We each have to find our own way and take the time we need to move through our experience.

Below are my reflections that I hope you will find useful at different stages in the process from healing to cultivating a deeper understanding about our individual and collective psyche to taking actions to rebuilding our communities where all feel safe and have equal opportunities to thrive.

Acknowledging Our Deep Divides

The election results reveal more than just political preferences – they expose deep-seated concerns and fears on all sides. Many Americans are grappling with complex emotions and genuine worries about the future of our nation.

Those who opposed Trump’s victory express profound concerns about:

§  The implications of electing a candidate facing multiple felony charges

§  Questions about ethical conduct and moral leadership

§  The impact on democratic institutions and the rule of law

§  The precedent set by supporting a candidate accused of attempting to influence previous elections

Meanwhile, those who opposed Harris and the Democratic administration have their own concerns:

§  The allocation of American resources to international conflicts

§  Perceived threats to traditional family values and ways of life

§  Concerns about “wokeism” and rapid social change (for example see this ad by Trump’s campaign and this video of Trump hitting out at Democrat’s wokeism)

§  Questions about economic policies and their impact on working families

These disagreements often mask deeper anxieties about identity, security, and the American way of life. Instead of demonizing those who vote differently, it will be more productive to try to understand the underlying reasons for their choices and finding common ground.

The Journey of Healing: Return, Listen, Begin

In times like these, when emotions run high and uncertainty prevails, we need a framework for processing our experience before we can engage in meaningful dialogue and action.

I.               Return

Our first step is to return to the present moment with kindness and self-compassion. Like a boat finding anchor in stormy seas, we need to ground ourselves before we can understand the larger currents at play. This return to presence isn’t about escaping our feelings, but rather about creating a safe container to hold them.

Find your way to return to present moment awareness that works for you. Here are a few examples:

§  Find sanctuary in nature – whether it’s feeling soil beneath your feet in a garden or watching leaves dance in the wind

§  Move your body mindfully through running, yoga, or dance – let your movement become a meditation

§  Create quiet moments of stillness through breathing or meditation

§  Express yourself through art, music, or journaling

§  Connect with loved ones who provide a sense of safety and understanding

II.             Listen

Once we’ve created this container of presence, we can begin to listen deeply – both to ourselves and the world around us. This isn’t just about hearing words, but about tuning into the deeper currents of understanding that often lie beneath surface reactions. Like clearing muddy water, when we become still, clarity naturally emerges.

What emerges when we truly listen:

§  Recognition of our own biases and assumptions

§  Understanding of how our personal choices impact the collective

§  Awareness of the stories we tell ourselves about “others”

§  Insights into our role in creating or healing division

§  Deeper appreciation for different perspectives and life experiences

III.            Begin

After returning and listening, we can begin to take meaningful action from a place of clarity and compassion. Each of us carries unique gifts that can help weave the fabric of community back together. The key is to start where we are, with what we have, focusing on creating spaces where genuine connection can flourish.

Ways to share your gifts:

§  Organize neighborhood potlucks that bring diverse groups together over shared meals

§  Start a community garden where people can grow food and understanding side by side

§  Create art projects that express both individual and collective stories

§  Lead mindfulness circles that help others find their own ground in uncertain times

§  Host cultural celebrations that honor different traditions and perspectives

§  Facilitate dialogue groups where people can share their fears and hopes

Remember: Our differences in political views often mask our fundamental similarities in human needs and desires. When we create spaces to share our stories, break bread together, or work toward common goals, we begin to see the humanity in each other beyond political labels.

Finding Common Ground

It’s through these shared experiences and interactions that we begin to see our fundamental similarities:

• A desire for safety and security for our families emerges in conversations over shared meals
• Hope for economic stability and opportunity becomes tangible when working side by side in community projects
• Pride in American ideals of freedom and innovation shows up in our collective problem-solving
• Concern for our nation’s future unites us in seeking better ways forward together

The challenge isn’t to eliminate our differences but to understand that they stem from shared human needs expressed through different worldviews and experiences. When we create spaces for genuine connection, these commonalities naturally emerge.

 The Power of Understanding

What might change if we could:

§  See our own fears reflected in others?

§  Recognize that everyone is acting from their best understanding?

§  Stop rushing to judgment and truly listen?

§  Look beyond political labels to our shared humanity?

We are all shaped by our experiences, fears, and hopes. Our inherent biases may cloud our vision of interconnectedness, but they don’t negate it. The path forward isn’t about eliminating differences – it’s about building bridges of understanding across them.

The Path Forward: From Theory to Practice

True healing requires moving beyond abstract ideas to concrete actions. Here’s how we can put these principles into practice:

1. Acknowledging Valid Concerns

When we hear someone express views that differ from ours, our first instinct might be to argue or dismiss. Instead, try these approaches:

i. Recognize deeply held values in action 

Recognize that most voters make choices based on deeply held values. For example:

§  Instead of thinking “They’re against immigration,” consider: “They’re concerned about rapid changes in their community and economic security”

§  Rather than “They’re too woke,” reflect on “They’re fighting for dignity and equal treatment to overcome systemic gaps that still exist”

ii. Acknowledge shared fears and uncertainties

Recognize that fear and uncertainty influence all sides. For example:

§  When someone expresses anxiety about the economy, acknowledge common ground: “I worry about affording healthcare too”

§  When discussing change, recognize mutual discomfort: “It’s challenging when familiar ways of life feel threatened”

iii. Move beyond oversimplification:

Understand that oversimplifying others’ views perpetuates division. For example:

§  Instead of assuming “All Trump supporters are…” pause and inquire: “What experiences led them to support these policies?”

§  Rather than assuming “Democrats always…” inquire: “Whose safety are they trying to protect?”

§  Replace “They just don’t understand” with “Help me understand your perspective better.”

2. Moving Beyond Stereotypes

Breaking down stereotypes requires active engagement with different perspectives:

 i. Challenge assumptions through direct experience:
Challenge our assumptions about “the other side”. Here are a few ways to do that:

§  Attend local government meetings to hear diverse community concerns firsthand

§  Volunteer at organizations serving different communities than your own

§  Join interfaith or intercultural events in your area

ii. Find human stories: 
Look for the human story behind political choices. For example:

§  Ask older relatives about how they developed their political views

§  Read personal essays from people with different backgrounds

§  Join community forums where people share their life experiences

iii. Practice both-and thinking:
Resist the urge to reduce complex views to simple labels. Instead, practice non-binary thinking:

§  When discussing immigration, consider both border security and humanitarian concerns

§  In conversations about education, explore both traditional values and inclusion

§  When debating economic policies, acknowledge both free market principles and social safety nets

3. Creating Space for Dialogue

Transform abstract listening into concrete connection:

i. Practice active listening:
Listen without immediately judging. Try these practical strategies:

§  Use phrases like “What I hear you saying is…” to check understanding

§  Notice when you’re forming a rebuttal instead of truly listening

§  Count to five after someone finishes speaking before responding

§  Ask follow-up questions that deepen understanding rather than challenge

ii. Share personal stories:
Share personal experiences rather than political talking points. For example:

§  Instead of arguing about healthcare policy, share your family’s healthcare experiences

§  Rather than debating climate change, describe changes you’ve observed in your local environment

§  Instead of discussing abstract economic theories, talk about your community’s economic challenges

iii. Find common ground through shared experiences:
Find common values beneath different expressions. For example:

§  Start conversations about shared local concerns: “How has the drought affected your garden?”

§  Discuss universal experiences: “What hopes do you have for your children’s future?”

§  Focus on community needs: “What would make our neighborhood safer for everyone?”

Practical Examples in Action

Here’s how these principles might play out in real conversations:

**Scenario 1: At a School Board Meeting**

Instead of:

“These people want to destroy education!”

Try:

“I’m hearing concerns about our children’s education. Could you tell me more about what specific changes worry you most? I share your commitment to giving our kids the best possible future.”

**Scenario 2: At a Family Gathering**

Instead of:

“How can you support that candidate after everything they’ve done?”

Try:

“I’d like to understand what issues matter most to you in this election. What changes would make the biggest positive difference in your daily life?”

**Scenario 3: In a Community Forum**

Instead of:

“That policy proposal is ridiculous!”

Try:

“Let’s look at how this might affect different members of our community. Could you share specific examples of how this would impact your family or business?”

Resources for the Journey

As someone dedicated to mindfulness and skill-building, I offer several resources:

1.         “Return to Mindfulness” – A book featuring evidence-based 48 daily reminders and micro-practices to disrupt our default habits and biases to be mindful in everyday life

2.         A companion app with 48 daily reminders and audio guidance for 1-minute and 5-minute practices based on the book

3.         Eight-week self-learning program based on the book with 48 micro-practices and longer mindfulness practices to foster the eight mindfulness skills

4.         “The Intentional User” – A free handbook for empowered social media use based on our research on the mindful use of social media

*(Note: Financial assistance is available for those who need it – please reach out)*

The Truth That Sets Us Free

As Gloria Steinem reminded us, “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” This discomfort we feel in the aftermath of the elections – whether from disappointment, concern, or the challenge of understanding those who vote differently – is not just something to endure, but a gift in disguise.

When we create space to acknowledge our feelings, listen deeply to ourselves and others, and begin taking meaningful action from a place of understanding, we open ourselves to transformation. The path forward emerges not from shouting louder or building higher walls, but from the courageous work of remaining present with what is difficult.

In this space between our certainties, in the pause between reaction and response, in our willingness to question our assumptions and truly see each other’s humanity – here lies our opportunity to weave a stronger fabric of American community. The truth that will set us free lives in our ability to hold both our differences and our fundamental interconnectedness, allowing new possibilities to emerge from the very divisions that challenge us today.

Please share resources you have found helpful to heal and take skillfull actions.in the comments below.